Pondering the Path Not Taken
Some would suggest life is marked and measured almost entirely by the decisions we make. Every day offers countless decisions that must be made and even the most insignificant decisions go into the mix in forming the stuff of the larger ones. Conversely, the larger decisions then define what options exist to make up the smaller ones … and so on and so on and so on. Appropriately, the wizened old knight in the Temple of Doom would hold up a bony finger in this moment and whisper hoarsely, “Choose wisely.”
So we go through life making our decisions and making what peace we can with the results. My old psychology of religion professor would often say in class, “You pays your money, and takes your choice,” affirming that our ability to make a decision and live with what happens as a result of that decision is a defining characteristic of maturity and personal growth. So perhaps it could be said with profound apologies to Descartes, “I make decisions, therefore I am.”
But what of all those options we didn’t choose? What about the paths not taken?
For a brief time as a college student, I worked for the M.E. Moses Company, an old-time dime store chain in Texas. What would my life been like had I decided to become a dime store manager for the M.E. Moses Company? Looking back that would have been a short-lived career as dime stores have virtually disappeared.
Instead, I made a decision to go to college and worked all the way through school with a variety of part-time jobs. I shelved books in two university libraries. For a season I delivered mattresses for a mattress company. I drove a school bus for a local school district. I delivered tropical fish to stores like the M.E. Moses Company that sold them. I worked for the Corps of Engineers for a summer. I painted houses with another Baylor student for a couple of years and we even had our own business cards! I even worked at the only elementary school in the Waco Independent School District that had no bussing, as it was the only racially balanced school in the district. There I was the only man in the building other than the toothless old man who was the school custodian. While teaching second graders to read, I also served as the school bouncer breaking up fights in the cafeteria and handling the big boys in the sixth grade.
Get the picture? These were decisions about work that allowed me to make other foundational decisions that went into pushing me in a specific direction in life. All of those piddly jobs gave me important life experiences that contributed to my ability to know a wider world.
Some seemingly insignificant decisions we make fly under the radar and we don’t see them shaping and forming the future. At Baylor I decided to ask a girl out after she flirted with me by tickling me with her sock feet. I happened to be on a date with one of her girlfriends while we watched a movie as a group. There was not a second date with her friend; instead, I called this sock-footed girl the next week and we had our first date. Her name was Wanda and she was not five years old at the time, as some of you mistakenly believe.
The paths not taken can be another way to view life. Some psychologists have focused attention on this kind of reflection as a rich way of reflecting upon what we might call the unlived life. One can, however, be consumed with thoughts of “what if” as a form of regret. For some, they’re experienced in the form of a grief over a life that could have been lived but was not.
What paths have you taken that have surprised you at how important they were? Can you look over your shoulder and see the power of your choices?
One aspect we share as people of faith is the belief that we have a traveler with us who both cares about our choices and is with us to help make those decisions when they are made. The one with us is also with us when those choices don’t deliver us where we want to go. That’s the journey of faith …